it was like eating out sand paper
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
