She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
what the fuck happened to the tacos
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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