Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
