I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
