I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
