By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
