shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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