It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
