see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
