So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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