How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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