ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
