Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
