I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
