Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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