i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
