We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
