He is an equal opportunity slut.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
