I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
