Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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