you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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