it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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