I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
