well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
