I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
