these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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