"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
