She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
