I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
