Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
