i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
