You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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