dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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