Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
