Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
