forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
