you have to choose: penises or morals?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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