East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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