her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
And then he peed in my hair
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