Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
