Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
