She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
