11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
