HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
