I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
