Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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