I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
