I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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