I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
