Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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