i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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