I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hippo gnu deer
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
